I have been a little MIA from the blog the passed couple weeks. My little sister had her wedding on July 3rd and we have been so busy leading up to the weekend. I was working extra at the salon to prepare for a couple weekends off, and now I’m in full recovery mode. Recovery from either all of the drinking, the bad food, or the stress, possibly all of the above. The wedding was incredible. Despite the changes that had to occur, it was the most perfect day. The original wedding date was May 8th, and thanks to covid, that obviously couldn’t happen.
Over a year ago, my sister asked me to be her Maid of Honor, well, duh. If she didn’t ask me there would be issues. Of course I accepted! Now, I have been part of numerous weddings, 5 to be exact. I am basically a pro at brides-maiding (I absolutely need to request that word to Merriam-Webster’s)
What does it actually mean to be a Maid of Honor? Do I plan the wedding? How much money do I have to spend? Should I quit my job? Am I basically getting married? Now hold onnnnn… I’m going to go through the list of Maid of Honor duties and how to be the best MOH to your bride.
First off, it shouldn’t be stressful, it should be fun! You’re not the one planning the wedding, you’re basically the hype man. You keep your bride from having those mental breakdowns and losing it to every minor inconvenience. Trust me, it will happen. There will be tears. Keep the positivity flowing and everyone will be happy.
You have been chosen as MOH for a reason. You know the bride the best. So, when she sends you a venue, color scheme, or dress that you don’t like, think about your bride’s taste. Is it totally not her, or is it just something that isn’t your style? Tell her your well thought through opinion on why you don’t think its her and never make her feel bad. Remember, you’re here for support. For example, “I really love the fabric of the dress, but just remember you’re always really self-conscious about your back and I just want you to feel your best on your day.” or “This venue is so pretty, the flowers are gorgeous but, you really wanted something a little more modern rustic and I don’t think this is what you’re looking for.” Always find something positive to say first. If you completely bash something that she LOVES, she’s not going to choose it. Say less, but its ok to give your opinion.
You are in charge of the bridesmaids. This gives the bride one less thing to handle. Start a group chat, and relay information through that group chat. Appointments, dress ideas, hair, make up, events. That way 5 girls aren’t all messaging the bride the same questions.
When finding bridesmaids dresses, MOH should consult with the bride if she has any ideas of dresses for the girls. If she knows the exact dress she wants, send to the group. If she wants you guys to pick, find 3-5 dresses and send those to the group and vote on it. Give a deadline on when it needs to be ordered. Don’t be bossy, but remember not everyone is financially available to order a dress at that moment.
Keep the bridesmaids in the loop, remember they are part of the wedding just as much as you are. You’re just there to keep things running smoothly
BRIDAL SHOWER/BACHELORETTE PARTY
When planning a party, make sure the party is the bride’s style. You know her the best, so make sure it has all of her favorite things. Also, find out if she wants a theme. My sister wanted a fiesta theme at her shower. Her favorite food is tacos so we set up a taco bar with all of the fixings, as well as rice and beans. We also had a margarita bar with the option of a regular or strawberry margarita. Everything was so colorful and to my sisters taste. I found a lot of the decorations on Amazon or Etsy.
Always have a Photo Booth that applies to the theme of the party.
(Here’s my sister and I at her fiesta shower)
For both parties, give each bridesmaid a task. Whether it is being in charge of alcohol, utensils, decorations, party favors, photobooth, everyone should be given something to do. MOH shouldn’t host the party all by herself. Or pay for it. Come up with a budget between you all, and ask the bride if anyone is helping pitch in. These parties should not make you go broke.
For the bachelorette party, usually they are a full weekend long. Find out where the bride wants to go, what activities she wants to do, and what outfit themes she wants. Send to your group chat and plan accordingly. She wants to go to a winery. Research best wineries in the area, make reservations if needed. Always tell them its a bachelorette party so they make it extra special.
MOHs 2nd look everything. You find the details that the bride would oversee. Proofread the invitations and vows. Make sure everything is in the right place before the actual wedding. Question the bride to make sure she isn’t forgetting anything before her big day. Wedding night underwear, lipstick, perfume, marriage certificate. Make a list a month in advance for things she needs do you can checklist before you head to the venue location.
DAY OF WEDDING
This is where shit gets real. Make sure you have an itinerary made for the day of. Broken down to the times of everyone getting their hair and make up done, when the vendors arrive, pictures, and ceremony. Here’s an example itinerary:
Again you are here to help with the wedding day anxiety. You are a best friend/sister, planner, caterer, designer, photographer and greeter all in one today my friend. Have your day lined up so there is no confusion. Also, send your number to all of the vendors and family members so no one is texting or calling the bride on her day.
Make sure she looks perfect. Hair isn’t in weird spots, lipstick is fresh, she’s not slouching in her photos. Like I said before, you make sure the details are perfect. One tip to make photos go smooth, have a list of pictures the bride wants with family/bridal party. That way she doesn’t forget to get photos that mean the most to her, and it speeds it up.
During the ceremony, when she walks up to the alter, grab her bouquet and fluff her dress so it looks perfect. You hold her bouquet until she walks back down the aisle with her new husband. Then, get the marriage license signed and get the rest of pictures done. You should stay with the bride until they’re done. That way you can help hold stuff and then bustle when she’s ready to go into the reception.
This is the most important part. Also, the most nerve-racking. Keep your speech around 3 minutes. This is key. Don’t be THAT maid of honor that has the mic for 10 minutes talking about all inside jokes. Listen, I get you want to make her laugh but, remember there’s a bunch of other people there you need to entertain. One inside joke is fine. I’m going to guide you on how to write a MOH speech…
The first part, thank everyone for coming.
Second, talk about how you know the bride. How you met? What made you so close? Favorite things about your friendship. What she means to you. Get a little sentimental but also throw some funny facts in there. When talking about the bride, its great to poke fun a little but don’t go overboard with it. Remember, it’s her wedding day. Don’t offend her by reminding her how fat she was, or all of the guys she’s been with in the past. That’s a no no. Talk about the good times!
Next, the groom. What was you first impression? What do you love about him as an individual? What made you know he was the one for the bride? Then, make a little joke.
After, talk about them as a whole. What they’re like together? What makes their love special?
Finally, wish them the best, raise a glass, and toast the new married couple.
Once the speech is over with, MOH, you can relax and party! You’re duties are over with. Except for getting people on the dance floor. Time to be the life of the party and dance the night away with your posse.
Have you been a Maid of Honor before? What was your experience? What are some tips you’d share for a future MOH? Let me know in the comments below.